In case you missed it, I've not blogged since January. I've never been shy about my mental health, but at the same time I've not really talked about it either. This is what I'm going to do today.
When I was 14, I was suicidal; it was only thanks to a close group of friends and therapy that I got through it. I then spent most of my teen years in therapy, battling depression, being at war with my own head. A few years ago I was put on antidepressants to help with depression and anxiety.
My mental health issues are separate from my physical health issues. My depression is not linked to my EDS3 or my asthma. This is something that I'm lucky my therapists have respected, but I know this is not always the case.
Since December, I have felt a lot more in control of my depression, and a lot more emotionally and mentally stable. I took a break from blogging in January, because I wanted some time to myself without worrying about deadlines and "what should I blog about this week?" and the like.
This weekend I relapsed. To make it clear, I'm not suicidal. I'm safe, and I'm working on feeling better. It is still a war in my head, but every minute of fighting is a victory. I have depression, but I am fighting it, and I will continue to fight it. I have support in the form of friends and loved ones; I have a lot of different coping strategies gained from years of experience and therapy.
This is why I'm taking a break from Valour's Call.
Depression is exhausting, and as much as I love playing Dungeons and Dragons, and as much as I love streaming and playing with the VC group, I need to put my health first. I'm tired from fighting my own head, but it is a fight I won't give up on; I just need some time to get back to basics, and then add in extra things like D&D.
I want to make it clear that I'm in a much better position than most. I have access to free healthcare. My GP understands mental health issues. I have access to medical help when I need it. Not all are so lucky.
If you need help, please reach out. Support those who need help.
See you next week,
E