I come here to day to be serious and mad for a second, and I'm probably mad at most of you. Sorry, friends, don't hate me. Just, please, understand where I am coming from when I remain silent on important issues rather than throw in my two pence, no matter how much I want to.
Especially issues like Ferguson, or the George Zimmerman trial. Issues like Gamergate or the subject of privilege. I really can't have a conversation with you about it via the internet we know and love, and this is why.
When Ellana approached me about writing a post on Ferguson and the murder of Mike Brown I shrank away from the idea immediately. I was certain that I don't know enough, I can't speak on it clearly enough, my thoughts on it are too clouded with anger to be of any use, and a thousand other problems.
Now I do have a problem with anxiety, I'm aware that worrying a lot is almost like breathing for me, but I've never been so averse to expressing an opinion as I have been the last few weeks. Not just about Ferguson, but about Gamergate, feminism in general, racism, the subject of privilege, all sorts of hot button and important socio-political topics at the forefront of internet discussion today. What I am figuring out now is that my frustration lies with the way debates on the internet happen, and how people speak to each other. I feel like I cannot say anything without learning every fact about every facet of a situation before making my point. I feel like whichever mistake I make is akin to the sky falling in on me and the gates of hell flinging open and dragging me down.
Not only that, but even if I don't speak and only read I can't learn anything about a debate because no one will allow themselves to observe a situation and speak on it objectively. When I'm learning about something I want facts, but everything is full of spin and leans one way or the other. I learned nothing from the Gamergate debate because no one could speak objectively, everyone had to pick a side and shout at me from that side, whilst simultaneously badmouthing that other side. Every piece of writing surrounding these topics are opinion pieces, often fuelled by vitriol and “facts” which they got from pieces of writing that were biased themselves. People seem content not to learn both sides, and that is extremely frustrating to me, to the point where I really do not enjoy having the conversation at all.
I suppose it's the analytical English student in me, but I want to talk about these important topics without having to push my opinion on others, or even necessarily talk about opinions. When I wrote essays in school the worst part of it was the fact that I had to argue a point. I just want to look at the elements, analyse them, see how they tie together and what that all means.
Early on I felt a parallel between the Ferguson protests and the England riots of August 2011. The riots were triggered by the shooting of a young black man named Mark Duggan in Tottenham, London by the police and without any explanation to the family and friends about the circumstances surrounding him being shot, why the police were after him, whether he was or wasn't armed etc. There was peaceful protest outside the police station which the police attempted to disperse, but it only escalated until the first riot began in Tottenham. The riots lasted four days and spread to cities and towns outside of London too, the initial message lost but the anger and the frustration still palpable. People were angry, disillusioned, honestly probably bored, and in the mood to see ho strongly they can effect the world in one way or another, and criminals took advantage of that fact. The fact that those riots were able to happen, however, the fact that the general public, particularly young people, were so easily stirred to destruction meant that the anger and the frustration was deep-seated and rising always. It was bubbling just under the surface and ready to explode at any moment.
This does not mean I feel the same about the England riots and about Ferguson, this does not mean Mark Duggan and Mike Brown are the same, and this does not mean I condone the looting and violence in either situations. What it means is that I believe people lash out when they feel under pressure. In both cases the residents of these places felt under pressure economically, politically, many racially, and when you are under that pressure you will do anything to make your cries heard.
In discussing this I would want to research on and draw potential comparisons between recent riots and protests in places like Egypt or Hong Kong. I would talk about Student Protests in England and the Million Mask March, all varying degrees of violent dissent in response to pressure. I would talk about having a conversation with a friend during my first year of university, talking as we were walking to join the first day of the Student Protests in London, 2010. I don't remember the exact words, but the long and short of it was that if you want your cause to find the ears of as many people as possible, you have to understand that peaceful protests are all well and good but they do not make the news. Controversy makes the news.
Sure enough, on that day there was little to no mention of the Student Protests in the news until students began to push back against police and head towards, ultimately storming and causing havoc around, the Millbank tower.
That mindset is what I find compelling, what I would like to begin a discussion about. The way people lash out when they feel voiceless and angry, and whether we the public should pay attention to that anger or ignore it. Because like the student protests, like the England Riots the message was ultimately ignored, and the unrest petered out on its own. That, however, is not happening in Ferguson. The energy is different, there is more to it. What next, then?
_ The reason this becomes difficult to discuss is because we are drawn to fire as human beings, drawn to its light and its heat, and sometimes it burns us. Inflammatory statements, tweets, blog titles, video titles, and images. People see these things and have immediate, visceral reactions, whilst more reasoned and even statements are cast to the wayside. Suddenly I firmly agree/disagree with this over-simplified statement on a complex situation and I'm going to shoot down anyone who disagrees with my opinion in a similarly inflammatory way because we are all suddenly angry. Conversation on Ferguson is centred around destruction and criminal activity because those images provoke an immediate black and white response. Tweets taking a firm pro or anti rioting stance gain more views and retweets and @replies. Chris Kluwe's blog post "Why #Gamergaters Piss Me the Fuck Off" got so much attention because it did the same, made one side angry, another side delighted, and continued to pit them against each other.
Still, however, someone who hasn't taken any side yet learns nothing. All we learn, in fact, is that everyone is angry at each other, because the internet has so much to offer and it takes so little effort to find that everything. So much so, that it has evolved around everything trying to grab your attention right now with flashing lights and colourful pictures and big, offensive words in caps lock.
My blog post on Ferguson would not be interesting to most of you, I believe, because I just don't want to argue, I want to learn and to discuss and to analyze. The internet, in particular the social media sites I frequent myself, make that virtually impossible. I love the internet because it can help you with almost everything, but this is unfortunately one of the few things it really cannot help with.
There is no app for that, I'm afraid.
Quick message from Ellana. I'm so glad Jaxx agreed to writing this for me. I have been wanting to since the shooting happened, but I haven't found the right words. As Jaxx said in the post, it is so hard to talk about something like this without just being angry, and that anger is completely justified. Events like this need to stop happening. That's all I wanted to add, I think Jaxx sums it up perfectly. See you next Tuesday, E