NB: In this post there will be swearing, mentions of abuse, and the same misogynistic bullshit as appeared in The Idea of You by the same author.
Usually I do these by reading the whole book, and then doing an overall review. As you may remember, I reviewed another of Amanda Prowse's books, The Idea of You, and I hated it with a passion. It put me in a reading slump for months. Please understand I am absolutely going into this biased against it.
This time, because I'm not sure my mental health can handle another misogynistic book that makes me lose my patience, I'm going to "live" blog it. Basically, I'm not going to edit this, I'm not going to go back and revise sections like I usually would. I'm just going to give the page number I'm on, and my thoughts while reading it. All my thoughts.
First up... My thoughts while downloading it, since that's what I'm doing now.
Oh gods no why oh no this cannot be happening again I'm not sure I can handle it again oh gods no why
Now to start the book.
I had to do a bit of juggling and shuffling to get it on my Kobo, because as I've said before, my Kobo filled to bursting.
And now I'm pausing to watch Honesty Hour on Hyper RPG.
Time skip!
It is currently 11.22pm and my Twitter notifications have finally calmed down, and I'm now able to read without having notification after notification.
Yes, I tweeted that I was reading this book and yes I tagged the author in the tweet. After she retweeted it, I had nonstop notifications from people coming to her defense. Yes, I had some polite tweets. Some of them felt aggressive, and I am genuinely thankful to those who showed me their support.
I want to clarify something that I have posted before. I am not the target audience for Prowse's writing. I am too young to be a middle aged mother, and that appears to be the majority (going by Goodreads) of her main characters. I also have no interest in having a family, nor can I have one because I have a disability. I am disabled. I was raised to believe that women can do anything, and are not confined to having a family. I am a feminist and I strongly believe that women should have more choices in life than just getting married to a man and providing him with children. The majority of Prowse's work (again, going by Goodreads) tend to be centered around women in families. Being a feminist, I understand that there are women who have that goal and that there is nothing wrong with that; however, I also believe that women can do more than just pop out children. Women are amazing. The women in The Idea of You, as I previously blogged about, were one dimensional and their lives revolved around their relationships with men and with their obsession of having children. As I tweeted, I hope that this is better. Authors improve the more they write, and they can have blips, books that aren't as good as others.
I come into most things with a bias. I'll give an example. I have one of the new jelly bath bombs from Lush. I love Lush, so I expect the bath bomb to be amazing even though I've not yet used it. The same is true if there is an author I love: I expect to love the next book they release, or at least I go in with high expectations. The only time I can go in blind with a book review is if I know nothing about the author, the book, or the publisher. I already have an experience with Prowse's work, and I hated it. I'm going to read another of her books, knowing full well I hated the last.
I have now been informed that pre-approved books do not count towards my NetGalley number until I download them. Thankfully, this means I won't be reading another of Prowse's work, even if I enjoy this. This situation has put a sour taste in my mouth.
Anyway, enough of this. Let's actually read this book.
Chapter One
- I like the opening interaction between the characters. It not only sets up a family dynamic, but also shows that this is indeed a contemporary setting.
- OK so the main character (Nina, by the way) likes to clean and do laundry, and the housework in general.
- And Nina, like the main character in the previous book, values what other people think of her. She is middle class, but only because her husband is rich through construction work. She also appears to talk to herself.
- Almost passed the Bechdel test on p9, but nope... but I do approve of a character saying "Anyhoo"
- We have the "true love" and "knowing their love is close" tropes
- Oh we also have the "screaming but unaware" trope
- Bechdel test passed! Nina is talking to her sister Tiggy
- "Finn (Nina's now dead husband) had teased Connor (their eldest son) for not getting an award (at a school event), gently punching the top of his arm. 'All that bloody money spent on your education and not one single scroll to show for it!' They had all laughed and then ridden home..."
- I'm sorry, what? If you want me to like a character that just died, maybe don't have them say something that belittles their child. Never say something like this to a child, even if you mean it jokingly.
- So it turns out Finn wasn't going to Connor's sport event, but was on the other side of town. Oh I do hope he was having an affair.
- Another reminder that Nina came from poverty...
- Relationship between Nina and Tiggy is strained (and dull, so dull) but they used to be close
- The talk of food is making me hungry. Side note: maybe if you have extra food after an event, consider donating it to a local shelter instead of throwing it away.
- Calling it now - he has left her in a lot of debt
- Oh oh oh... let me guess. His business folded, he kept it secret, and now she owes £30,000 ish to a very posh school, and probably loses her home too. That's my guess at least, that's where I see this going
- OK now she is planning a family holiday. Oh yea, she is definitely in a lot of debt.
- Just posted on Goodreads for a time stamp, and decided to have a chocolate bar if I'm right.
- Oh and we have the first hint of the husband keeping finances a secret! He set up passwords with the bank, and she didn't know them.
- Honestly, to me, this is a sign of a relationship that has the potential to become abusive. If you are in a relationship and have a joint account (which is heavily implied here), make sure you actually have access to it.
- BOOM! Called it! His business has failed and he didn't tell her about it.
- £8 million in debt, and he didn't tell her. So much for the perfect husband. And I may or may not be doing a little happydance at calling it. I get a chocolate bar.
- "With only Mr McCarrick's name (Finn, the husband) on the deeds, your signature or indeed your approval, would not have been necessary" for mortgaging the house
- Again, this is a sign of a potentially abusive relationship. Joint home means joint signatures.
- Let's be honest here. At this point, unless some miracle happens I'm going to be bored for the rest of the book. There's going to be a happy ending, maybe with a new relationship. Unless Nina suddenly develops a personality beyond mother, homemaker, and widow, I'm going to balance a pen on my upper lip and see how long it can stay there. I'll still be reading, but that will be my entertainment.
- I lasted three paragraphs with the pen balancing thing
- Oh look, more secrets the husband was keeping.
- Another reminder of how she came from poverty...
- Oh and now she is keeping the debt, the homelessness, and that the kids probably won't have a school to go to in a few days... you guessed it... a secret.
- Oh yay, she worked out that her perfect marriage was a sham. That's good, I was worried I'd have to spend the rest of the book yelling at the main character.
- Do you think cats are aware how cute they are?
- That's twice now Nina has said she loves Declan, the youngest child, but hasn't said it to Connor, the eldest. Mother of the year, right there
- I hate the husband. I actually hate him. Here's a quote: "'You won't have time for a career!' Finn had chuckled dismissively. 'You'll have the wedding to plan and the renovations of the house to oversee and then who knows-' he had run his fingers over her stomach - 'maybe a baby to look after?'"
- What is this bullshit?! So the perfect husband talked her out of having a nursing career, to be a wife and mother. Fuck that. Fuck this whole book. These books are described as "empowering" but really it is just mildly abusive relationships being shown as romance, while the woman suffers. I'm tired of it.
- "'You are more valuable to me at home.'" Fuck this.
- I'm actually going to include this here in case it is of use to anyone reading this.
- If you have made it this far, have a cup of tea on me.
- Oh look, she is having trouble finding a job because she has no paid experience. Called that too.
- It is 2am and Masters of the Metaverse has started. I'm still reading though.
- If this book goes down the "poverty = happiness" route, I'm going to scream. There's already "poverty = evil"
- Oh good they knocked down a wall with no preparation or knowledge. What a great idea.
- The end is in sight
- I'm now wondering what sort of tea I should have when I'm done. I'm torn between peach and white tea, strawberry and green tea, and peppermint tea.
- Oh wonderful! Nina is now blaming someone for being in poverty despite the situation she is in. Fuck this.
- Oh good, she bungled the interview but now Nina might have a job
- Hold on, I just realised. She didn't sign on. She was looking for a job but did not even attempt at applying for Job Seeker's Allowance.
- Soon it will all be over... I never have to think about this book again...
- Oh how lovely Nina and Tiggy are now criticising other people's things
- Amazing the rich character forgot that poverty existed, despite the constant reminders earlier in the book that she came from poverty
- In all honesty, it is bloody good that Tiggy is yelling at Nina, calling her out on her bullshit. It's the only redeeming feature of the book so far
- I think I'll go with peppermint tea.
- New relationship. Fucking called it.
- I might add some lime to the peppermint tea.
- Connor has a girlfriend, and once again, just like in the last book, the adult main character has an opinion on what the teenage girl is wearing
- This has to be the last chapter, it has to be
- I can almost taste the peppermint tea...
- Plot twist! The new relationship isn't with Nina but with Tiggy. Well I didn't see that coming.
- Why won't it end?
- Oh good Connor won a sports award
FUCKING FINALLY. It is over.
E