As I type this, it is 6.40am on a Saturday morning. I have a few thousand words left of my MA dissertation, which is due at the end of the month, and a million tabs open for all the research I need to do for it still. Back in 2013, my fourth post on this blog, I was 22, had no idea where my disability would go (spoiler alert: it went downhill). I didn't know if I had the ability to do postgrad academic anything. I still don't know if I do. I'm still doing it though. Now I'm 30 and planning for the future.
I have some plans for once my dissertation and my degree is over. Some of that will be very public - more blogging, some videos, that sort of thing - and some of it will be very private. I have an idea in my head of where I want to be, and roughly how to get there. I just... I don't know if I have the ability to do it.
Five years ago, I didn't know if I had the ability to do my MA. Now I'm almost done with it. Sometimes you just need to keep going, putting one wheel in front of the other except that's not how wheelchairs work but putting one foot in front of the other doesn't really work as a metaphor when you're in a wheelchair because you tend to stay in the same position and -
Anyway. I do have plans for once I finish this month. I want to read more and go back to doing weekly book reviews, whether that's ARCs or just what I happen to be reading that week. I want to make more videos, share my crafts, document what I'm doing.
Right now, my priority is my dissertation, but after that... I don't know what I'm doing with my life. Still.
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